Save me

Obsession is scary and jealousy terrifies me.

Each day I pray to God for the power not to succumb to those.

I try to be a forward thinker and open-minded without losing my morals and beliefs. My biases I kept in check for my mind is a mystery.

Anger, envy and malice are like Poison, they eat away the soul.

The spirit is Consumed by rage and the mind is Imprisoned by grudges.

Let go of hate and free yourself from torture.

Greeds kills, it wraps itself around you like a Serpent squeezing out all your breaths while asking for more. Again I pray for a heart that is not consumed by those, a heart that is not blinded by rage and a mind that understands the important things in life.

Wake up

I woke up this morning with my thoughts so blend

I look at my door with an alter disgust. My body refused to leave the bed. I can hear my phone buzzing like it’s having a seizure.

Beep, here goes the snooze button again. My oh my how

I miss you sweet silent. Your lack of nothingness echoes all over the room.

About to shout down again,then I heard that awful buzzing again

What a horrible noise, I picked up my phone to check and it was that time already, the time has come to wake up.

No more snoozing the injustice I see around me. No more one more minute To the atrocities that distraught the mind, the spirit and the soul.

No more sleeping and ignoring the inequality that swims around us like a shark and have flooded the land like a plague.

It’s time to wake up and face this head-on. Is time to wake up and work to make this land better. Is time to wake up and clean up the injustice

It’s time put inequality to its grave.

Today I took a break

Today I took a time off. Today I took a Time out.

The sadness it overwhelming and the anger is consuming

Every day I see the injustice every day I live the fear, imagining

if it was me and wondering why the system is so unfair.

It boils my blood, makes the pressure build-up and I feel like

I will burst. No not this again I cried. Whipping in salient and praying for change.

It was so overwhelming that my soul was always angry, my mind

was in disarray and my spirit down.

So today, I took a time off, today I took a break. It was just

the right amount to keep me sane, it was just the right amount so

I don’t go crazy and it was just the right amount to reconnect me with my spirit. It was just the right amount to keep my soul a peace

Uplifting

Love as a mirror

Love is like a mirror. When it’s new, it’s whole. Break it and it’s shattered,

broken and in pieces. all laying there in disappear.

Fixed, is not quite the same. The cracks are visible and

edges are sharp as if they are warning and threatening you to back off.

The trauma for the impact forever visible, no amount of cover-up can conceal the damage. The more the mirror is broken and fixed, the more pieces are lost.

Love can be delicate and it can be to the most elegant thing in the room, It can outshine every experience.

But a broken love hurts like a sharp cut. like you have been gutted and left on an empty street like your heart has been reaped out of your chest and feed to the dogs.

It can lead to the darkest of places, to the vast ocean of nothingness. Love as a mirror is a reflection of your peace, Cherish it, protect it and handle it with care.

The Pain

To you who think you understood.

To you who think you know my pain.

You claim you got my back but don’t even listen to me talk.

You look at me in utter confusion as I try to make you understand about this pain, but it seems like your mind is made up.

To you, I’m overreacting. To you the pain is imaginary. To you, the suffering is non-existent.

But I assured is there, We feel it every day.

Tho we have gotten better at hiding it but I believe one day we will overcome it.

And this pain too shall be a part of history

Calculated Risk

Some people think being a calculated risk-taker is a sign of weakness.

Some people think it’s boring and some think you lack the balls to do what’s needed to be done

Risk it all they said, it’s all or nothing they lamented. No risk no gain I was told. They think you are sacred of success for refusing to jump on their bandwagon. Some look down on you because you refuse to give in to their peer pressure.

You tried to explain to them the lifestyle, but they call you beta. They remind you how you overthink and over-analyze. They hit you with the quote “ life is full of unexpected, why worry” or ”you only live once” so what do you got to lose?

To them I reply “everything”.To them answered ”everything”. Everything is what I will lose for being reckless and jumping in headfirst. Being a calculated risk-taker is not the absence of risk, but it’s a Conscious decision to take a reasonable amount of risk that has a low negative effect over one’s life. It’s going into an endeavour after obtaining adequate information need. Is investing in your future wisely without crippling your current self if things go south.

Being a calculated risk-taker, To me, it means you have analyzed and is comfortable with the outcome of your decision.It’s the ideal of understanding the investments, and remembering that you don’t need to put all your eggs in one basket. It’s the understanding that as a business person, You don’t invest your capital on a new product with no clear prospect but rather you invest some of your profits in other to test the water and multiply your profit.

The city that Never sleeps

The city that never sleeps,

The light, always high and bright

The people, always ready, eager

and on the move. Full of energy, full

of vigour of that bustling city life.

The city that never sleeps. with all its glory

And beauty, With all it’s mighty and Charisma,

It was put on pause all of a sudden.

It was an overwhelming experience. It came out of nowhere, without warning, without enough mental preparation, the street went salient.

The once crowded hotspot became a ghost town. Our own homes feel like a prison, instead of feeling like a place of peace and relaxation.

The things we took for granted are the things we crave the most, the things we think that where Inconsequential is now Important.

The Fear of the unknown has Paralyzed most, crippled some and has left a scar in many. The once Magnificent is now salient, its people weep behind closed doors.

We try to stay optimistic but the news downs our spirit, But one thing for sure is, as far as the city stands hope is lives.

The people are strong, waiting for when the city we regain its gory again. They know its step by step. But we know we can get there. We know things won’t be the same, but we are excited to see the updated version of this city we call home. Oh, our city that never sleeps.

Don’t abuse the Friendship

“FRIEND” what a funny word. Some people abuse it some people

Misuse it. What is a friend? who is a friend?. We all have our expectations, our ideas, values and standards.

Friendship in this Morden age has become propaganda. lots of people claim to be your friend yet they know not what friendship

is all about.

Most are your friends out of selfish reasons and convenience. They ride

with you yet will be the first to throw you under the bus. Their expectations are high but yet they made you a second-hand citizen in their life. Your love, kindness, caring, empathy and friendship they think they deserve, but for theirs, you have to earn. Some want you to conform to their idea of whom you are or whom you suppose to be, Instead of supporting you to be the best version of you that you can possibly be.

But Good friends are worth more than gold and more precious than diamonds. It’s someone who knows you for you and not their idea of you. Someone who can be honest with you without being condescending. Someone who is there in your worst moments and someone who can share your happiest moments without being bitter. Someone who is happy for you when you succeed. Someone who sees you as a motivator rather than a competitor. Someone who doesn’t try to take advantage of your kindness. Someone who respects and values you. Remember Good friends are hard to come by when you get one respect them, cherish them and don’t abuse the friendship.

Love and Logic

To live is to love and to love is to live.

But with love comes vulnerability and happiness

With love comes acceptance and hurt

To love is to be and to be is to love.

But To love without logic is to follow blindly.

Society says you can’t be logical when in love.

Some people say if he loves me he should have ………..

Others said I don’t want that kinda love.

The next person asked why doesn’t he love me the way that guy loves her?

Questions, comparisons, confusion and doubts are all they got.

As I said, love is vulnerability and acceptance. Should you blame me for being logical? Is it a crime to think for myself? Or is curiosity stupidity?

We shouldn’t set love and logic against each other but rather encourage

Logical love. A love that appreciates your individuality, a love that doesn’t follow blindly, a love that understands you as a person and not only infatuated. The love that understands that change is inevitable. A love that is not easily influenced. A love that is not only base on your momentary feelings

Prayer for the Soul

Lord God give me strength. Bless my heart with love

Transform my soul and mind. Help me not to lose my ways.

Lay in front of me the path of your own design.

Give me the strong will to keep pushing. Give me the heart that withstands all.

Guild me so my spirit won’t be broken, and help me to always see the

good in others.

Do not let my selfish ways consume me, open my eyes to the love within.

Help me to wear humility like amour and to wield kindness like a sword.

Lets cast away the pride that eats the soul and the arrogance that consumes the spirit.

Create in me a pure heart that holds no malice or grudges.

And allow my spirit to be at peace in you.

The Pressure

My mind is poisoned, my soul corrupt. From within I fight.

In the depths, the war raged on. I fear not my own despair.

I fear not the silent in the war. Shhhh listen, listen, can you hear

It? Wait, can you feel that? Oh no! I think I screwed up.?

That is the fear from within, that is the insecurities

Constantly in a fight about what they think and who I want to be.

The standard is high but the bars are low.

Trying to make that big leap but the obstacles are real.

Society killing me with their notions, peers suffocating me with their opinions

And my spirit battling with my will power. I can’t blame them, but keep that judgment to yourself.

Wait you think that is rude? That is unnecessary? And I being too dramatic?

Nah this is me getting tired of all your expectations, all your opinions, and all your judgements.

Nah this is me telling you that my life is not yours to dictate.

Nah this is me telling you I have found peace with being me.

Nah this is me telling you that you got no right to judge me based on your misguided view of the word.

Nah this is me telling you that my timeline is mine and yours is yours

Oh, I wish society will listen to this cry from my soul, to the tears of my heart and to the Agony of my spirit.

Let me be yours and you be mine.

---

Sometimes I go back. Sometimes I think.

My memories recall things. I wish I forgot

Things I try hard to forget.

It played in my head like a song on repeat.

I visualized everything thing like am watching a tv show.

Is this one of those funny joke or have I gotten lost Trying to

find something new.

But thinking back on it now, you took me by surprise.

Meeting you was a fluke. Tho I was intentionally searching with no clue

of the end result. With no idea of what is out there. But knowing you, was like finding an oasis in the middle of the desert, very fulfilling, very informative and extraordinary.

I try to imagine how life would have been without you and what would have become of me have we not met? The following words came to mind; Lonely, dry, boring and annoying.

You have brought a rely of hope back onto me, my beautiful. You made me happy and as happy as I can be. You have brightened my days my early morning sunshine.

Your light has lit my soul. Your smile melts my heart. You are my safe place and Let me be yours too. Let me be your happiness, Let me help you build. Just like the ants I know we are stronger together. Let’s make a statement to this system that works against us. Let’s do us and screw what society thinks. Let me be yours and you be mine.

The Greatest story

As crazy as it is, we all have a story to tell.

Some stories happier than others.

Some stories are full of sadness.

Some stories are so powerful that you feel you can move mountains,

that the stress of yesterday is but a thing of the past.

That the you right now is unstoppable and the world is yours

for the taken.

Some stories so emotional that an Ocean can not compare to the tears you shard. Words can not begin to express the storm you been through. Yes You have passed through hell and back. Have tested the fruit of hopelessness and the seed of disappointments.

Night and day you asked yourself over and over again ”why”.

Why me? Why this moment? Why at this time? Why, why why

Why. Then slowly you tried to fade away and make the pain go away.

Slowly you start to feel like a tree in the middle of the dessert

All because of this story. All because of the story.

Then it hits you, the story is not yet over. You refuse to give up.

You said to yourself, its not done yet. People are looking at you crazy, but you know what you know, that this is not the end. The story is not complete yet, because when all is set and done. All this is but a small part of a greater story. The story of stories, some called it ” The life story”.

You have determined that your story will speak volumes, that your life is going to be a masterpiece,a sight to behold. A testament that you are great and you are a survival. Your life will be the Greatest story ever told.

My Mind and Me

So I decided not to think about it. I decided to pretend it doesn’t exist.

I close my eyes to what is in front of me while chasing shadows behind. My mind is like a maze, twisted, interconnected, complicated and yet rewarding. Emotion is like a million puzzle pieces that are hard to complete alone. Sometimes the game called life is exciting and fun.

Whereas sometimes I think is rigged. That the happy ending is only for the ruthless and most cunning. I love the game of life but those cheaters who have acquired legendary weapons and reached higher levels keep try to rip others off and knock them down. Then it got me think this game life must be crazy. Apart from the golden rule that all players most die at one point in the game. It has no rules. We make the rules as we play while trying to follow the rules of the society we belong to.

I walked past my self and now am trying to find me. Looking for something deeper in a shallow word. Spirituality became my only comfort. Yet my heart yearns for connection. I envy those who find it easily but yet I don’t wanna be then. I like me but the me I know is curious and always ready to learn. It scares me sometimes that I know too much but is also terrified me that I know so little, that my knowledge is not enough and I have not even begun to learn things I suppose to know.

I Apologize !!!

It wasn’t meant to be so, not like this. The weight is too heavy, but the call was yours to make. I see myself drowning in the pool of my own doing. I tried to point fingers but I’m tired. I’m running out of breath and my consciousness is declining.

I am not dead nor am I dying, no! no! no! my dear this is the worst.

This is despair, this is fear and this is guilt.

Despair for being stupid and failing to understand.

Fear of consequences of the actions I took, both intentional and unintentional.

Guilt for building a wall that pushes people away and being egotistical.

But is it my fault? Should I take sole responsibility or blame for this situation? Or should I just accuse the society? Wait, will that be making excuses?

I guess the only way is to own up to my mistakes. Then apologize for my shortcomings, to amend the wrongs I did and to keep on working hard for a better me and a better future.

Is humanity a crime?

We live in a world where being human is a crime.

People rather be alone than associate.

Technology has stolen our mind, made us blind to what is right in front of us.

In the buses, we avoid each other like a disease.

Everybody is looking for an empty row instead of next available seat.

Instead of engaging, we sit alone, away from interaction.

“Hello, how are you” is now an offense, a word we dare not say to strangers except online.

We can chat online with strangers for hours but become mute when we meet face to face. Where have we gone wrong

Is begin human that bad, that we have to treat each other with such curtly. That our love for things is more than our love for our kind or the value for life.

Have we lost faith and trust so much that pets can now replace human companionship?

Have we falling so low that we are now the slave to our own invention.

Are we so far gone that checking on neighbors is a crime known as trespassing?

That being nice to one another is considered stupid. That caring for others is seen as disturbances. Where has humanity gone wrong?

How long will I feel like this?

My heart is guarded. A wall has been built.

The bridge has broken. The doors are short tight.

I have an army ready to attack.

Yeah, I want something meaningful, but my defense pushes people away.

I’m scared to let love in, because I am terrified that it will leave me again and leave me hurting.

I want to tear down my defenses but my mind kept reminding me the reason it was put up in the first place.

I want something beyond explanation, but sometimes when I find it, it rejects me. Whereas, making the wall thicker. The more the pain the thicker the wall, that is how the game works

I hope to find someone to take away the pain. I hope meeting them will smooth my soul. But for now all I have is me, the willingness for change and the ability to make a change and that is okay.

Just another cold night

Looking out the window, the snow falls gently.

The wind singing its song. Whispering in my ears its cold winter breeze.

Yet I sit there, not listening but just wondering, and imagining how great it will be to feel the warmth again.

Thinking how great it will be if you are mine. Like how long should I have to compete

The coldness is getting stronger, tho my room is like an oven set to max.

Yet my heart is frozen.

Each day I yarn for you and each night I wish you were with me.

Your voice melts my frozen heart and your smile brings warmth to my soul

As I said I wish you are mine. But I guess is just another cold night

Is it love at first sight?

It was like a dream, a reality that doesn’t exist. I was dumbfounded

from the first day I saw her. she was attractive, gorgeous and fabulous but my mind yearns for something more. Something beyond her beauty.

I was captivated, lost in the wonders that is her. Trying not to lose myself I tried to make sense of it but to no avail.

It has been long since I felt this way. It has been long since my heart and mind have been aligned.

Both Wanting and seeking the same thing. l can’t remember the last time I’ve felt this way. She is a star, shining so bright that it warms my heart. She is like the sun because she makes the darkness go away.

It was disappointing. I was furious but my gentle nature got the best of me.

My heart still yearns for her but my mind is slightly giving up. Now I’m confused, am I losing interest? Should I push harder or leave it to fate? I am scared, terrified that being me won’t work. But being me is the only thing I know.

Is a lie worth it? Is deception the way to go? It’s working for them, it might work for me. Then the voice in my head said snap out of it. They are not you and you are not wired that way.

Will you sell your soul to impress? Or be yourself and experience pure acceptance, pure love that is not shrouded in lies.

Then I ask myself is this Love at first sight or am I losing my mind?