mental healing – oliscosunset

So I decided not to think about it. I decided to pretend it doesn’t exist.

I close my eyes to what is in front of me while chasing shadows behind. My mind is like a maze, twisted, interconnected, complicated and yet rewarding. Emotion is like a million puzzle pieces that are hard to complete alone. Sometimes the game called life is exciting and fun.

Whereas sometimes I think is rigged. That the happy ending is only for the ruthless and most cunning. I love the game of life but those cheaters who have acquired legendary weapons and reached higher levels keep try to rip others off and knock them down. Then it got me think this game life must be crazy. Apart from the golden rule that all players most die at one point in the game. It has no rules. We make the rules as we play while trying to follow the rules of the society we belong to.

I walked past my self and now am trying to find me. Looking for something deeper in a shallow word. Spirituality became my only comfort. Yet my heart yearns for connection. I envy those who find it easily but yet I don’t wanna be then. I like me but the me I know is curious and always ready to learn. It scares me sometimes that I know too much but is also terrified me that I know so little, that my knowledge is not enough and I have not even begun to learn things I suppose to know.